I also remember the waiting.
We waited.
And waited.
Eventually we made the decision to go and retrieve our stubborn little boy. 9 days past my due date and he wasn't budging. No contractions. Nothing.
May 1st, 2012. 11:36am. The first time I heard my sweet boy cry. He was perfect.
After William was born it was a whirlwind of emotion. Your body is full of hormones and chemicals that make you deliriously happy while the sleep deprivation makes you irritable and uncertain. The battle that ensues in your brain makes the first few months a blur. Even now as I think back I have a hard time remembering exactly how I felt. I go back and read some of my earlier blogs about how hard it was and all I can do is smile. I don't remember it being that bad, but apparently it was extremely hard. Everything we do now is so routine and comfortable. Was I really that lost in the beginning?
My most vivid memories were of breastfeeding. I do remember how challenging it was, however, now I can't imagine anything else. The bond that I have with my son is unbelievable. I would go through the hard times again and again to have what I have now. Those moments when it is just me and him, snuggled up together. It's really amazing
When I went back to work it was a struggle to find a balance. Brent and I began our new roles as parents. Life moved on with no thought as to how we might feel about it. Before I knew it I was back to my 40 hour work week and Brent was a stay at home dad trying to balance baby and training. He took over so many household chores for me because I was too exhausted after work to cook or clean. I would get home at 6, spend an hour getting ready for work the next day, then spend an hour nursing Will and putting him down for the night. There just wasn't time. Meanwhile, Brent was cooking, cleaning, and taking care of the boy all day. The change was harder than I thought. Even though I knew that my plate was full with baby, breastfeeding, and work, I felt useless not being more of a help around the house. It was hard to let go and relax. It took months for us to really find our groove. We were each having our own little identity crisis. How did we survive it? We supported each other. We were patient with each other. We talked to each other. William made us want to be better people and it turns out all of that change isn't going to happen over night.
Now here we are, 2013. William is growing and changing everyday. You never know what you are going to wake up to. This week he started clapping. Something so simple, yet every time he does it I can't help but laugh and clap with him. Brent has been reminding me to live in the moment when it comes to William. Don't think about when he can walk, talk, or what he will enjoy as a child. Take things day by day and enjoy every minute.
A quick message to William:
You are 8 months old this month. I absolutely can't believe it. Your favorite things are clapping, standing, and getting into things that you aren't supposed to get into. After a month or so of trying to crawl you finally nailed it this week. Now sitting you down in one spot and leaving the room for a second is not an option, even if you are surrounded by toys you will by pass them all to crawl over and pick up a sock or try to pull over the space heater or chew on an electrical cord. We are really in for it when you start walking.
Another favorite thing of yours is me, your momma. Apparently it is an evolutionary thing. When babies realize they can crawl, walk, become mobile it is their instinct to become more clingy to mom. This way they wouldn't wander off and get eaten by a lion or some other predator. Obviously there is nothing that is going to eat you around here, but I love the fact that you adore me right now. I know soon you will become an independent little man and these moments are fleeting.
I love you buddy. Everyday is new and exciting. Thanks for making 2012 the best year yet.
No comments:
Post a Comment