The First Month: We Survived

Ok, my title is a little misleading. It should read "I survived, but it's all a haze and I really didn't know what I was doing", or "Fake it 'til you make it." The first month was weird and enlightening and terrifying and awesome all rolled into one. Where to start? 

Brent's Fight

Let me preface this with a little bio on my husband. He is a professional MMA fighter (I know, right!?) and was training for the biggest tournament of his career at the end of my pregnancy. When we had Will he had just won the semi finals and was training for the finals. He fights for Bellator and if you are into that sort of thing you should check him out: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brent_Weedman  He's kind of a big deal. Anyway....

When we found out when Brent's tournament was going to be we knew that it was going to interfere with baby time, and vice versa. After we got home from the hospital Brent had some catching up to do on his training. He had to get back in the gym 3-4 times a day and focus on his weight cut. I was still trying to find my rhythm breastfeeding and, oh yeah, figure out what to do with the baby. I mean he is here 24/7. Seriously. Not to mention I was exhausted. We decided that Brent needed to sleep through the night so that he could have the energy to focus on his training. I had no problems with him sleeping because I know how hard he trains and I know that if I was sleep deprived, cutting weight, and working out all day I would be pretty pissy. So there I was, feeding every two hours and trying to keep it together. Brent would come home from his morning/afternoon session and would collapse on the bed. He was exhausted, but for different reasons. We were deep in our own little worlds, his was the fight against Hawn, and mine was the baby. Our worlds would intertwine occasionally, him getting precious baby time and me getting anxious about the biggest fight of his life. His fight was on a Friday night and he left for New Orleans on Wednesday morning. I remember waking up that morning and realizing that it was just me and the baby. The baby and I. I couldn't drive, we were just together at home. I don't mind being home by myself at all, but it turns out babies are very demanding. He was still nursing every two hours and very alert during the day. I was lucky if I could stuff some food in my mouth and take a deep breath before the he wanted more boobs. Those three days that Brent was gone were the hardest in my life. Not being dramatic. Any woman who's husbands travel for work or are in the military or if they are just being a single mom are saints. I can't stress enough how hard it is. I have mad respect for all of you, because it almost killed me. 

Showering

One suggestion I have for new moms is to shower. Everyday. It sounds simple or unimportant maybe, but a nice hot shower will refresh you and make you feel somewhat normal. The first month for me was such a whirlwind and my morning showers were the best. Even if they were quick, it was a minute to relax and regroup. So shower. 

Dogs and Cats

Our pets have been great with the baby. We got a lot of questions about what we were going to do with the animals and how we thought they would react. I was worried that the cats would sleep on Williams face and smother him. Or that Ricky would wag his tail and inflict serious damage. But so far we have had no animal related injuries or issues. Ricky loves the baby and gives him the most gentle kisses. I expect them to be best friends when Will is older. Maki is very indifferent. She doesn't hate the baby, but she isn't going out of her way to make friends either. She typically keeps her distance. And the cats couldn't care less. They check him out every once in a while but seem bored by the whole charade. So if you have pets and are worried about how they will act, don't worry. Animals know what's up. 

Pacifiers

All that I heard and read while researching breastfeeding was nipple confusion. Don't give a pacifier or your baby will refuse the breast and STARVE to death. Don't give a bottle because your baby will refuse the breast and STARVE to death. It was as though an artificial nipple was going to sneak into the nursery at night and kill my baby. Needless to say I was freaked out. Breastfeeding was hard enough and I didn't want anything, especially a rubber nipple, messing with my progress. At William's first check up I asked the doctor what he thought about the whole deal. He said that he didn't see any problem with giving a pacifier, so we did. Will didn't seem to excited about it at first. He would suck on it for a few minutes then spit it out. Then one day he kept it in his mouth for an entire car ride. I went to nurse him when we got to our destination and found that he wouldn't latch properly and kept falling off of my breast. I knew it! That damn pacifier had him all confused. He was sure to die. Right then and there I swore off the pacifier. About a week later Will was being fussy at night and Brent convinced me to try it again. So, we did, and to my surprise Will did fine. He sucked on the pacifier and passed out. Then he woke up a few hours later to nurse and latched fine. Turns out using a pacifier while breastfeeding isn't the end of the world. I did a bunch of research the next day to find the best pacifiers for breastfed babies and found a brand called soothies. I bought them and was all excited because they were supposed to help your baby develop a strong latch. I brought them home, sterilized them, and gave one to Will. He wasn't having it and spit it out immediately. I tried again later, then again a few days later. Turns out he hates them. So it was back to the original pacifier, which he loves. So don't worry if your baby needs a pacifier and is breastfeeding. And don't worry if he doesn't like the super awesome breastfeeding pacifiers. Do what works for you and your baby. 

Sleep When Your Baby Sleeps

Ha! Easier said than done. Everyone kept telling me to sleep when your baby sleeps. When your baby eats every two hours it's almost impossible. It's not two hours from when they stop feeding, it's two hours from when they start feeding. So if he begins eating at noon and nurses for 30 minutes then you have about an hour and a half before he is up again. Oh yeah, and you are starving. When Will would get done nursing I would run to the kitchen and begin fixing food, whatever was fastest. I would eat, then have maybe an hour left before the next feeding. When I would try to lay down it would take 15-20 minutes to get sleepy, then I might drift off for a moment.....then it was feeding time again and I would just be groggy from my 20 minute nap. Power naps don't work when your body wants hours of sleep. Sleep when your baby sleeps is good advice, but not practical. Not for me at least. 

Umbilical Cord Stump

Gross. They are gross. I see a lot of gross things at work, but for whatever reason Will's umbilical cord stump freaked me out. His took almost three weeks to fall off. At first it had come off around the edge but was still hanging on by a chunk of flesh. I thought I would just give it a tug and it would come off. I was wrong. I pulled on it and gagged when I saw that the piece that was hanging on was all moist and fleshy. Underneath the part that had come loose there was what appeared to be brown pus. *dry heave*. So, to keep from barfing, I pushed the nasty scab of a stump back on and put him in a sleeper with footsies so that if it feel off the dogs wouldn't eat it. Also so that I wouldn't have to look at it. Gross. Eventually it came off the same day as the tugging fiasco. I had to fish it out of his sleeper and throw it away. Some people keep them. They keep the dried up nasty stump. Ewwwwwwwww. But once that thing falls off it's officially.......

Bath Time

Bath time! I love bath time! Will loves bath time! Nothing better then a happy naked baby! Bath time! 

White Noise Baby App

Is your baby having trouble sleeping? Yes, there is an app for that. It's called White Noise Baby and costs 99 cents. It is the best 99 cents I've spent probably ever. If you have a baby or are going to have a baby or might be around a baby you need this app. It has multiple white noise settings including "Car Ride" and "Doppler Ultrasound" (Will loves car ride). It allows you to set a timer and even has a mode that will reactivate the noise if it hears your baby stirring. Yep. And you can turn on airplane mode if you don't want your phone to go off by their ear while they are passed out. I just turn my phone on silent, the app will stay on through text messages but turns off if you get a call. I don't use it for Will all of the time but he tends to get over tired a lot and has trouble going to sleep. All I have to do is turn this app on and he is out. It is wonderful. 

Over Tired

Turns out babies don't just sleep when they get tired. They get what is called over tired. Where instead of just shutting their eyes like a normal person they fight sleep and get cranky. It can be pretty frustrating when all they have to do is sleep and they will feel better. Seriously baby, just go to sleep! That's where the White Noise app comes in....just go buy the app. 

Pictures

I take a lot of pictures of William. If you go through the pictures on my facebook it looks like all William does is sleep or smile. In reality it's likely that he starts crying or gets fussy after most of those pictures. So to all of the parents out there who look at our pictures or other peoples pictures and feel lost because their baby isn't all sleepy and smiley, don't worry. Neither are ours. It would just be weird if everyone posted pictures of their baby being sad. 

Breastfeeding

Most of you read about my initial breastfeeding mishaps. Once we got the hang of it I fell in love with breastfeeding. When it is going well it really is amazing. Will and I can do it with the best of 'em and are slowly branching out to doing it in public. Not to freak people out or offend anyone, but because I want to go out and enjoy life with my baby without having to hide away to feed him. I cover myself so that my boob isn't just flopping about. And by the way, if you are freaked out or offended by breastfeeding in public then get real. Think about what that means. You can't grow up enough to appreciate that a mother is feeding her baby? That's it. Providing food for her baby. My breasts aren't there for your pleasure, they actually have a purpose. So get over yourself. 

Husbands

I was lucky to have/ some time off with Brent after his fight. When he got back things got so much easier. Just having another person around to hold the baby is awesome. Before we had Will we would talk about how it would be two against one, and that we knew we could be parents because no matter what William would throw at us we could deal with it together. I tend to over react about things and Brent is there to bring me back down. One night Will was really fussy and I was trying to figure out why he was upset. I went through the list: Clean diaper? Hungry? Tired? When I couldn't find a definite answer I was on Google trying to find out what to do. I was telling Brent possible causes and he looked at me and said, very calmly, "or maybe he is just a baby, and maybe babies cry sometimes." Oh. Yeah. Maybe what I consider a fussy baby is nothing compared to some. It's good to have that balance, Brent has been a great accomplice through all of this. 

Family and Friends

A quick thank you to our family and friends who have brought us food or just said nice things about our baby! We love you all and are so glad that you are a part of our lives. 

In Conclusion

The first month was exhausting, but it was also amazing. When Will smiled for the first time I about passed out with love. When he sleeps for more than 2 hours I stare at him and wonder when he will wake up so I can squish his cheeks. There are moments where you are exhausted and overwhelmed, but so far the good outweighs the bad. Excited for what month 2 has in store.